Keep Running...

Ten years ago I had a dream that profoundly impacted me. This was pre-blog days, but I did write it down. I was reminded of the dream recently in my reading of Jennie Allen's book "Restless: Because you were made for more." Allen highlights that our lives are as a race "we start running the race we were meant to run, and then realize after mile five that we have accidentally signed up for a marathon. Before we know it we are bored and restless again." 

Sometimes when I have so much going on in life I get restless and wonder what it would be like to step to the side and cheer others on in the race instead of participating myself. 

But throughout scripture we are encouraged to not give up but "run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1); "finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given to me" (Acts 20:24); so that we can join Paul in saying that "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim 4:7).

So I will keep running. And I pray that you do as well.

Here's the dream from 5 January 2004. I am praying that it speaks to someone today. Most probably that will be me!

I was in New York – I think…you know how dreams are.  In this large city I had walked down the empty streets, seen the large buildings, but not too many people around until we rounded a corner and came to a very large park.  It was a park that I had seen before, and the event being held looked familiar.  There were many people lining a path, cheering and watching.  As I moved closer, I could see the path, edged by large trees.  The park path was filled with runners in a marathon.  Numbers were on their backs and they were heading toward a goal.  I watched, fascinated at the race and the number of people looking on.  However, someone kept speaking to me and saying something repeatedly.  The words I was hearing: “You need to run.”  I looked around the crowd to see who was saying these words, but could not see them.  I heard the voice repeatedly, but the source was not revealed until I looked back at the runners.  It was then that I saw a young man, running in place, looking at me with his hand-outstretched saying “you need to run.” 

Although I wasn’t dressed for the race, and had no number on my back, I took his hand and we began to run together.  Now the crowd was cheering for me, and the young man kept holding my hand and saying, “you need to run.”  We ran the marathon and I could see that we were getting close to the finish line.  However, I was becoming tired, felt out of place because I didn’t look like the other runners, and wondered if I should really be in this race at all.  Suddenly, as we rounded a bend in the path and entered a long stretch of the tree-covered path, I stopped.  The young man holding my hand stopped as well.  He looked at me, smiled, and said these words:  “Keep running.”  I explained that I didn’t belong; I was tired, that I could exit at this point and not humiliate him or myself.  His response?  “Keep running.”  So, that’s what I did.  We entered back into the race down the tree edged path and eventually passed the finish line amidst cheers and congratulations on all sides.  Although tired and weary, the only words that continued to ring in my ears were “keep running.”  I knew that God sent this young man to me.  In his smile, I could see that he was sent to run alongside me, be kind to me, and to speak words of encouragement – “keep running.” 

As I awoke this morning, I couldn’t get these words out of my head and began to ponder the meaning of this dream.  I do believe that God speaks to us through dreams and asked Him to reveal His intentions of this particular one that was so poignant. 

In my time with God this morning, I was reading in my favorite devotional book, “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers.  As I read the entry for January 5^th, the meaning of my dream began to take shape as Chambers writes about Peter’s quest to follow Jesus that ends in denial.  Jesus’ resurrection and ascension brings hope to Peter as the promised Holy Spirit was given so that he could truly follow Christ with power and authority.  Peter had denied Jesus, but now he has been given a second chance to follow.

Chambers writes, “between these times Peter denied Jesus with oaths and curses, he had come to the end of himself and all his self-sufficiency, there was not one strand of himself he would ever rely upon again, and in his destitution he was in a fit condition to receive an impartation from the risen Lord. ‘He breathed on them and said to them, ‘receive the Holy Spirit.’  No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely upon them, build only on the Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives.  All our vows and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to carry them out.  When we have come to the end of ourselves, not in imagination but reality, we are able to receive the Holy Spirit.”

Jesus has called us to follow him.  He did not promise that the race we would run in would be an easy one.  He did not promise that we would always fit in or that it would not be easy to quit.  He did not promise that there would be delays and obstacles along the way.  All He asks of us is that we run…and that we keep running. 

For me, 2003 was a difficult year.  Many trials and struggles came with 2003, and the two years before it.  There were also many changes and many, many lessons that God asked me to learn.  I’m still learning some of these lessons.  Sometimes I feel that it would be easier to walk away from ministry - to stop running the race.  If I did this, I could get a great job, earn lots of money, and start sponsoring other runners.  Raising funds for missions work is not always an easy task.  Especially when you look around you and find so many people with so much, and look in your own wallet or at the bank balance of the ministry you love and find so little.  I have struggled much with this thought lately, and asked of God “isn’t there an easier way?  Can’t I stop for a moment and find out?”

Sometimes we think the easiest thing to do is to stop and go another direction, or to join the crowd and cheer for others in the race.  However, God is not looking for cheerleaders…He is looking for participants.  The words from my dream – “you need to run” – were first spoken to me 20 years ago when at the age of 14 in an Arkansas youth camp, God called me into the ministry.  I have tried to go in other directions, but keep hearing the words “you need to run.”  Stopping, cheering or running in another direction are no longer options for me.

I don’t know all that the future holds, and can’t see what’s around the next tree covered bend in the path.  However, I keep hearing two words in my ears that give me encouragement along the way:  keep running.  I know that the end is in sight, that I’m on the right road, and most importantly – I am not alone.  Someone saw me standing in the crowd, stretched out his hand to me, and said, “You need to run.”  God is with me.  The Holy Spirit is guiding me.  Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection were for me, and the message of the Kingdom of God will be spoken through me to those who have never heard…but I must keep running.